Public Streaking
What’s up bitches? It’s your stone cold pimp Johnny Noxious up in this bitch yo.
I have one word for you all, Streaking.
What the fuck ever happened to streaking and why is nobody doing it anymore? I mean for Christ sake why do you think I watch the fucking U S Open? It’s not for the tennis dammit it’s in hopes of seeing a naked young coed run across the court. I mean Serena’s outburst was a pleasant surprise, any time somebody says and I quote “I am going to shove this ball down your fucking throat” that makes the event for me. Still what has happened here, what happened to the good old days? Streaking was big in the 70’s but has been on a steady decline ever since. Have we gotten a bit chicken as a country, as a planet??? I mean Tiger Woods just won another tournament this past weekend, but not a sign of a streaker anywhere. A golf course is a perfect place for the beginning streaker to start their career. Tons of places to hide before and after the big event. Maybe taking a quick look at some of the alumni of the sport will inspire some of you wannabe streakers.
Erica Roe
24 year old Erica with an impressive 40“ bosom was the grandmother of female streakers, having famously bared herself before the Queen of England at an England vs Australia match in 1982.
Sheila Nichols
Sheila was aged only 19 when she invaded the hallowed turf of Lords Cricket ground in 1989. She is best known for 2 things 1) Being really really hairy and 2) Doing one of the only naked cartwheels known in the history of man.
Melissa Johnson
The first streaker to take to the grass at Wimbledon, during the Men’s singles final in 1996. Balls dropped everywhere.
Naomi McDonald
A rare thing amongst female streakers (unlike their more outgoing male counterparts), Naomi is a serial streaker, having pulled off naked runs at both International cricket matches and Wimbledon.
If you google any of those names you disgusting perverted weirdos can find plenty of pictures. I myself loved the big hairy 70’s bush on Sheila Nichols and the giant rack on Erica is just as fabulous. Just keep your hands to yourself boys.
So Ladies let me just throw this out there. As a purveyor of poon, a fan of the clam, a buddy of the booty etc etc. Please ladies let us bring back this fine tradition, we need it now more than ever. The world is in horrible shape right now, the economy, wild fires, wars, floods and famine, hunger. The least you can do is to make a horny young boys dream come true. Run naked in public Run dammit run.
Catch you bitches on the flip side. Be Pathetic,
Johnny Noxious
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Dirty Sounding President’s Names
What’s up Bitches, it’s your homie Johnny Noxious and I have been thinking…
As I watched Barack Obamas speech to the kids today I thought to myself. There is nothing dirty sounding about Barack Obama’s name, nothing. I can usually pull something dirty out of everybody’s name. Lets see, take Connie Lingus for example or Justin Heras or Jenny Talia for example. All equally hilarious and equally dirty sounding.
More you say? Ok, ok! Stop your fuckin whining, here is a short list of dirty sounding names:
A. Nellsechs
A. Nelprober
A.S. Muncher
Amanda D. P. Throat
Amanda Hump
Amanda Lick
Amanda Mount
Amanda Poker
Anita B. Jainow
Anita Dick
Anita Dickenme
Anita Hanjaab
Anita Hardcok
Anita Head
Anita Hoare
Anita Naylor
Annie Position
Anya Neeze
Ben Derhover
Ben Gurgen Hoffe
Ben N. Syder
Ben O. Verbich
Ben R. Over
Benoit Bawles
Berry McCaulkiner
Betty Drilzzer
Betty Humpter
Betty Phuckzer
Bo N. Herr
Brooke N. Rubbers
Bruce D. Cocque
Buster Cherry
Buster Himen
C. Mike Rack
Clee Torres
Colin Forsecs
Connie Lingus
Craven Moorehead
Curley Pubes
Dang Lin-Wang
Daryl B. Payne
Dick Long
Dick Myaz
Dick Pound
Dick Ramdass
Dill Doe
Dixie Normous
Dixie Rect
Dixon B. Tweenerlegs
Dixon Butts
Dixon Kuntz
E. Jack Ulayte
E. Norma Scock
E. Norma Stits
E. Normous Peter
E. Rex Sean
Eaton Beaver
Eileen Ulick
Eric Shun
Fawn Dillmiballs
Fonda Dix
Fonda Peters
Freida Brest
Fudd G. Packer
Hans Omaicok
Harry A. Nuis
Harry Azcrac
Harry Balsonya
Harry Balzac
Harry Beaver
Harry Cox
Harry Dix
Harry Dong
Harry Johnson
Harry Kuntz
Harry Nutt
Harry P. Ness
Harry Peters
Harry Sach
Harry Scrote
Harry Weiner
Helda Coccen-Mihan
Helda Dick
Holden A. Pare
Holden McGroin
Haywood Jablomi
Howie Feltersnatch
Hugh G. Dildeaux
Hugh Gebrests
Hugh Janus
Hugh Jardon
Hugh Jewnitt
Hugh Jorgin
Humphrey Willy
I. Yankit
I.C Yadick
Ilova Gudfach
Ima Butmunsch
Ima Homeau
Ima Hoare
Ima Horndawg
Ima Reilly Cumming
Issac Dick
Iva Biggin
Ivana Fuccu
Ivana Hafsechs
Ivana Shroomslap
Ivanna B. Spanked
Jack Knauf
Jack Meoff
Jed I. P. Impe
Jen Italworts
Jenny Tayla
Jenny Tulworts
Jew C. Tuatt
Jocelyn Cocque
Joy Ryde-Myaz
Justin DeFront
Justin Heras
Justin Hermouf
Kareem M. Pants
Kari Mysac
Liz Bien
Lou Skunt
Lou Swimmin
Madame Dick Burns
Manny Kanblo
Master Bates
Mike Hunt
Mike Oxsbig
Mike Rotch
Mike Rotchburns
Miles Long
Mister Period
Moe Lester
Mrs. Hiscock
Neil Anblomi
Neil Down
Neil Enbob
Neil Inlick
Ol’ Dirty Bastard
Oliver Clozov
Ophelia Cox
Otto B. Astripper
P. Nisenvi
Pat Herboub
Pat Hiscock
Pat Maweini
Pat McGroin
Pat Myaz
Peter Beter
Peter Fitzinwell
Peter Insidya
Phil Accio
Phil C. Rottencrotch
Phil McAvity
Phil McCrackin
Phil McCreviss
Phillip A. Butt
Phillip McCrack
Ray Pugh
Rhoda Hotte
Rocco Z. Caulk
Roch Myaz
Rod Gozinya
Ron Chee
Rueben G. Spaut
Rueben Z. Clitz
Semour Asscrack
Seymour Snatch
Shara Dick
Sharon Cox
Sharon Head
Sharon Peters
Shea Verpussi
Stacy Rect
Stella Virgin
Sylvia Dooble-Fitz
Tal E. Whacker
Tara Dickoff
Tara Himen
Tara Holenme
Vye Agra
Vye Brator
Wang Phat
Watson Herbusch
Wayne Kerr
Willie B. Hardigan
Willie Dicker
Willie Eetmioutt
Willie Focker
Willie Layer
Wilma Dickfit
Wilma Fingerdoo
I know it’s a short list but I only had a minute to think of some funny names. Now back to my original thought, I’m sure it’s not that original because I couldn’t be the first person to think of this, and I saw it on tv, but here goes anyways. Here is the top ten dirty sounding President names.
Here they are starting at number ten:
10- Clinton
9- Bush
8- Hoover
7- LBJ
6- Pierce
5- Filmore
4- Polk
3- Harding
2- Bush-the dad this time
and the number one sounding dirty president name is:
Johnson
There you have it all dirty sounding and all presidents, which leads me back to my original thought. There is nothing dirty sounding about Barack Obama’s name.
So depressing, wait wait how about this……Bear Cock.
There it is, Bear Cock Obama. Ok my job here is done.
Peace out Bitches,
Johnny Weebledick Noxious
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Cluck Fucker
What’s up bitches, it’s your homie Johnny Noxious chillin like chocolate dipped pussy at a pussy eating contest. I have no idea what that means but it’s pretty fuckin funny if you ask me and if you didn’t ask then too bad bitch. Speaking of horses, check this story out:
He’s a repeat sex offender – who should be registered with the Humane Society.
A South Carolina man was busted for having sex with a horse, while on probation for having sex with the same horse.
Rodell Vereen, 50, was arrested Monday night in the throes of bestiality by the filly’s shotgun-toting owner, who also has video surveillance of the perverse act.
"When they arrested him before I thought that was the end of it," said Barbara Kenley, who caught Vereen in the middle of his romp in the hay with her 21-year-old horse, Sugar.
Vereen was charged with buggery and tresspassing, and was held on $10,000 bail.
"Hopefully he won’t get out," said Kenley, owner of the Lazy B Stables in Conway, S.C. "My goal is to get him away from me and my property."
Vereen was on probation for a buggery conviction stemming from a November 2007 assault on Sugar, a crime that prompted Kenley to wire her stables with surveillance cameras.
Kenley said cameras filmed Vereen having sex with her horse on July 19, but when she showed footage to the cops they told her they couldn’t identify the suspect.
She suspected Vereen would not be able to stay away from her horse, so she was ready when he snuck into her barn Monday.
"I wanted to catch him firsthand," she said. "It was just a matter of time before I caught him."
When Kenley pointed a shotgun at Vereen, he claimed to be looking for a bathroom.
"I told him he was full of crap," Kenley said. "He apologized and said he didn’t mean to hurt me."
Just in case you were wondering what this dumbass looks like I have included his fabulous mug shot for all to see.
Now back to the MEAT of the story, I don’t think you can put the blame on good old Rodell. I think you have to go all the way back to the first person who fucked an animal and I’m not talkin about the dreaded bar pig either guys. I mean animal animal, you know a goat, a cow, a walrus.
I want to know who the first person was that looked at a chicken and thought “you know, I bet that chicken is a great fuck” Seriously people first off I don’t even know if chickens have a pussy but even if they do how great can it look. Let’s see Jenna Jameson or a chicken hmmmmmm, not a tough choice there guys. But then again you probably get a lot less bitching from a chicken. You could probably fuck a chicken six ways to Sunday and not have to worry about the chicken calling the next day to ask when you are going out again.
Wait, lets get back to Rodell because I think he is the victim here, hold on hear me out before you jump to conclusions. Maybe he was sitting at home and old Sugar called him and said she was sitting around the stable thinking about him wearing her new outfit from The Love Barn. Essentially Rodell is the victim of a booty call gone wrong, terribly wrong. Think about it guys, this horse must be pretty good in the sack for Rodell to get out of jail and go right back to the piece of pussy that put him in jail in the first place. I mean a guy can only slap the meatbag around by himself for so long before it gets boring. We should be lucky this guy took his sexual angst out on a horse and not some college coed. Think about it…..
Now back to an idea I had thought of earlier, it’s a theme restaurant called “Cluck Fuckers”. Lonely guys come in and pick a live chicken out of a line up, much like at the Bunny Ranch or your local brothel. They take the chicken into a private room and fuck the living shit out of it. Then the chicken is seasoned and cooked to order for the gentleman to eat, with his choice of 2 sides and a large drink all for $19.99 plus tax. If I see a Cluck Fuckers open up I’m kickin somebody’s ass!!
Til next time bitches,
Be Pathetic,
Johnny “CluckFucker” Noxious
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